Spoilers ahead, if you care.

I finally saw the movie Bridesmaids last week. Brandon and I were both fairly excited to see it at last, having heard so much about how it was hilarious, etc, all summer when it was released. It stars a number of talented and funny ladies. It had a premise we can all relate to–the stress of being in a wedding, planning things, spending money you may not have, and dealing with the rest of life at the same time.

None of these dresses were even IN the movie, either, for that matter.

It should have been so good, but I sit here now wondering what the hell everyone saw in this movie. Look, I know we’d all love a female version of The Hangover. It was a really funny movie. And it was way better than this drivel, so why was everyone rushing to hand out that title to Bridesmaids?

The sequence in the movie that clearly had THE most thought put into it in terms of the steps to the joke, the build-up of the joke, and the “payoff” of the joke was the food poisoning joke. Yep, that’s the one where every pukes or sh*ts themselves in a ritzy fancy dress shop. Yep. THAT is the joke that had the most attention given to it. That should tell you something about how “good” the rest of the movie is.

The main character, the Maid of Honor played by Kristen Wiig, is a mess of a woman who at no point both realizes she’s a wretched person who got herself into her own hole and tries to dig up out of it. When Melissa McCarthy’s character shows up to literally slap some sense into her, Wiig seems to understand that she is where is because she hasn’t done anything to prevent it at this point. (A few things were not her fault: the food poisoning was not her fault but the restaurant’s; and I’d say her acting out on a plane when the Rival Bridesmaid gave her some unidentified pills and scotch to relax is at the very least shared blame.) She’s driven away her friends, lost her job, her apartment, everything because she’s let it happen to her without trying to change and do better. So in a tried-but-true pacing challenge, what she should do here is go to her estranged BFF who’s getting married (who booted her from both her life and wedding and rightly so) and apologize profusely, right? Or at least do something to make up for it? Hey, she’s a baker, maybe she should, y’know, bake the wedding cake free of charge! That would be a good start on making up for what’s happened.

Instead, she bakes a cute little cake for the Nice Guy she slept with and then blew off. And…drives by his house a lot. And…that’s it. That’s ALL she does to try for redemption. Makes a passing gesture to the person she knows the least and owes the least to of all the people she’s been wretched towards. She does NOTHING to make amends to her friend who’s getting married. Except for when the wedding day comes and the Rival shows up not knowing where the Bride is, and Wiig harasses the Nice Guy (he’s a cop) into helping her find the friend at…her own apartment. The Bride was at her apartment. No calling, no checking, I realize it was meant to be a joke, but seriously? Are you freaking kidding me??

One review I read afterwards claimed this movie gave some kind of insight into how women really act around each other, that the idea was we’re just as raunchy and gross as boys when there aren’t any boys around. Sorry to disappoint, but we’re not. Oh, maybe some ladies are, it takes all types, but generally speaking? Almost NOTHING in this movie represents how women act around each other and how we treat each other. In fact, I’d hope this movie represents not a shred of how anyone treats each other ever, quite frankly.

The female Hangover may yet come, but this, folks, was not it. It wasn’t even close. It was a poor comedy and a poor movie, and we can do better, ladies. And gents.


11 thoughts on “Bridesmaids is a Bad Movie

  1. I think everyone touted this movie as what they wanted it to be rather than what it was. Though it may pave way for more movies of its kind – just hopefully better and, you know, actually funny.

  2. Gosh, I really enjoyed it, and I thought the dress scene was the worst scene in the movie. I thought Kristin Wiig’s character was very relatable. She’s a woman who has made some mistakes in her life and who has also had some shit happen to her and doesn’t always handle situations with the grace that we’ve come to expect of our leading ladies. A lot of it wasn’t realistic, but I wasn’t expecting realism from this sort of movie — I certainly hope guys don’t treat each other the way they did in The Hangover. Frankly, I thought it was refreshing to see a heroine with deeper flaws than “too career-oriented” or “puts others first too often.”

  3. It is completely the worst scene (and also, not actually possible in the time frame presented, but…whatever).

    I’m fine with flawed characters and all, but she just never redeemed herself. She fucks up everything, mostly because she’s insecure enough to get suckered into a contest with the other bridesmaid, and then when she “realizes” how she’s screwed up, she…makes a cake for a guy she slept with and didn’t call? Really? Not, y’know, make any attempt to apologize to her lifelong friend? Ugh. I just couldn’t find anyone worth liking in this movie.

  4. I agree that the dress scene was the worst scene, I’ve had to avert my eyes each time I’ve seen this movie (for some reason people want to watch this movie when with me, my mother included). I thought it was obscene to open the movie with a sex scene. Kristin Wiig was relatable but over the top in her helplessness and despair, this was an over the top comedy so caricatures happen. The scene with Wiig and Maya Rudolph hiding behind the tree and following along with the boot camp class was pretty great in my opinion. What I view as the “takeaway” from this movie is Melissa McCarthy slapping some sense into the desolate Kristin Wiig, that speech was brutal and perfect. And the puppies. The puppies were adorable.

  5. The opening with a sex scene–I don’t know that I’d call it obscene, but it was fairly pointless. You know, now that I think about it, maybe that’s why a lot of it went to awry–they tried to cram some rom-com (failingly) into what SHOULD have just been a movie about their friendship. There wasn’t really much point to viewing Wiig’s character’s despair through the additional lens of the romance subplot, because it only distracted from the more important relationship, the one she had with her best friend. (To the point where Wiig’s “redemption” comes through baking a cake for a guy who means little to nothing to her or her story arc, rather than doing something for her former best friend whom she has treated atrociously.)

    The puppies WERE adorable. McCarthy was fun until, UGH, that totally unnecessary “sex” scene in the credits. Did we not learn our lesson from Good Luck Chuck, people? The scene with her slapping sense into Wiig was just uncomfortable to watch as well. I like McCarthy, but I think her Oscar nom for this role is rather ridiculous.

  6. A bit late here, but it wasn’t Annie’s fault for a lot of things. Why do people act like everything is preventable? She couldn’t have prevented the recession and her store from closing. She couldn’t have prevented being through out her apartment (no, because it was that brother and sister’s choice. The fact that Annie expressed her discomforts is NOT an excuse). This movie is nothing but blaming people for forces they can’t handle. A lot of things Annie did were indeed her fault, but what started it wasn’t.

  7. I wholeheartedly agree with your assessment of this movie. I wanted it to be funny… but, instead, my wife and I found Wiig’s character to be pretty much a self-involved scumbag, with no redemptive qualities.

    This movie IS terrible.

  8. My wife and I expected this to be funny. Instead, we saw Wiig play a self-involved, petty scumbag with no redemptive qualities.

    I agree with your assessment, Katie… terrible movie. And that’s terribly unfortunate.

    ~ Brandon P.

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